About Me

I'm Shaun. I'd consider myself the epitome of contentedness. I come off as homosexual nine times out of ten, and I'm a very happy person. For what I lack in problems and tragic pasts, I make up for with Awesomeness.

Sunday 30 November 2008

I really wish i was at a point I could catch up from.

So.... a missing week on a "Daily" Blog. I actually now have to start using air quotes and slight sniggers when referring to my update status -_-;
I'm pretty sure this is the feeling people are supposed to have when people draw out the crowd favourite "You've me down, Shaun, but more importantly, you've let yourself down.".
Except much more trivial and throwaway.

I've been thinking a lot about morality. It's all very taxing. It raises a lot of home truths about ourselves, as soon as you start to question why you think something is right or wrong.
A recent example. A woman was jailed for life for the murder of both her children. She claimed that God had asked her to do it.
If she believes that this was the right thing to do, is she a good person? Can you punish someone for acting out their beliefs?
The plot thickens.
A famous quote from President Bush (Not to jump on the hate-wagon); "God said to me, "George go fight those terrorists in Afghanistan." And I did. Then he said, "George, go end the tyranny in Iraq". Which is what I'm doing."

I'm the last person who wants to begin a discussion on politics and war. Quite honestly, I'm hopeless in the field. Plus, this blog isn't about that.
But in all honesty, what's the difference between the two scenario? Aside from the obvious difference of Children and Terrorists, shouldn't this confession be tantamount to a plea of "Guilty?". And in a country that has governmental independence from any religion, as stated by the founding fathers?

The argument can be taken to further extremes. The Holocaust. An operation is the realisation of a prophet's belief. But it's wrong, isn't it? So where is the line drawn?

We need to find it should we hope for survival.

Sunday 23 November 2008

Super-Ultra-Three-In-One-Shaun-Can't-Keep-Commitments-Blog!

Ech.... One week has passed, and I have missed 4 deadlines, including this post-midnight post. I feel like a traitor. I'll be the first to admit there hasn't been enough time, special circumstance and all, but I feel as though this is going to be that "Just one more.... And another...." kind of scenarios.

SO.

Three quick internet links-

Why the World is crazy, Awesome beauty tips and a game where you play with yourself- ten times.
I'd go into more detail, but guess what I don't have? More time

Advice

Get Chrome and Firefox.

Chrome is the fastest browser on the web, Firefox lets you have awesome things like Stumble, as well as being safer.
If you need just one, get Chrome for those of you un-internet savvy, Firefox for those who like to customise.
Both way better than Internet Explorer.

My Life:
Coursework. Fur Cereal, that's all it's really been. Might put some anecdotes or something as an edit, but for the most part, my social life has been more or less destroyed by the combined forces of Business, Stats and Drama.

Sayonara.

Wednesday 19 November 2008

I'm going to take a stroll.

Wednesday is General Ponderings Day (apparently), so I feel obliged to give it a try.

I get a lot of time to think. A paper round was a blessing for someone like me- a chance to simply zone out for an hour, in fresh air, with good music and my thoughts. And on a good day, maybe a patch of grass to lie on, and take a break from existing. It's good.
Anyway, one thing I think a lot about is how other people feel. Sometimes, I just like to run through my head how someone might feel about things that happened to them. It's a good exercise in understanding. I feel as though I'm a very good reader of people (Not to demean a person to 1-2 dimensional media), so long as it doesn't concern myself. For instance, I can see who likes who from a mile away. That stuff''s easy. As soon as I place myself in the equation though, I argue. Contradict. Become confused.
Is it right for me to think of someone's feelings toward me? Is it right to ignore? Is that just my modesty speaking? Paranoia? Ego?
I feel as though when thinking about someone else, it's a unified voice, a unanimous decision. As soon as it's me, there's several. I second guess, trying to play some sort of moral-jenga. I'm trying not to think the wrong thing, but I can't decide what kind of "Wrong". It's strange, but I can't be alone. Surely.
I tend to find myself having to self-assure myself that my friends like me. I had a weird dream once, where I found out I was a paralytic shell of a human being, practically part-wheel-chair. And the big revelation was that I had been projecting the personality of my helper upon myself, the boy who so loyally carted me around. I had trouble coming to terms with what that would make me were that situation real. Fake? A copy? It was the whole clone debate, but with another cruel twist. It got me paranoid too. Was that the dream?
Sometimes I revisit that nightmare, but merely as a grounds for brain-food. But it doesn't stop me making up friendship balance sheets in my head, trying to think of what people do to me, and how they treat others, as some sort of test as to whether I'm some sort of pity friend, or something.
As cliche as it sounds, the doubts wash away when I'm with people, but they can return when I have time to think.
I suppose such blessed time to think has its cons too.

Maybe you should listen to The Pillows. Also, I Failed.

Damn. Few days in, and I've already missed a blog. Right. I'm gonna try and make up for today's post later, so here's yesterday's. I'm going to try and not make a habit out of this, as I've (painfully) learnt, as soon as you start doing things for good reasons, you start doing them for bad ones, too.

Anyways, The Pillows.

I could play my pretentious "Oh, I bet you don't know this band, 'cos they're too cool. And Foreign." card. But then I'd actually have to shave off an eyebrow, become a hermit and learn how to not be an obnoxious plebeian on top of a mountain until my eyebrow grew back.
The Pillows are extremely interesting to me as they're a Japanese band that is mainly influenced by Western Music. So you get this great Best-of-Both-Worlds deal without having to be some creepy cow-girl-child-star. Solid Western Tunes meets Eastern Innovation. Awesome.

But the main reason I like them is because they're awesome. Plus, as a bonus, you don't have to go online and find a translated lyrics sheet if you want to know what it is they're saying- they're one of the few Japanese bands that have English lyrics. Musically, they sound like a really good rock band. There's no easy way to put it. It's hard to single out a few bands they sound like. My easiest suggestion is a good combination of everything that's less heavy than metal, more tuneful than pop, smushed into one band.

So, being the charitable gentleman I am, some of their best/most approachable songs. In Youtube form. There is much, much more I could put down, but if you must listen to one song (Read: You must listen to one song) then you should really listen to Advice. It's superb. One of my favourite songs ever. And this blog is all about me pushing my opinion on you innocents.

(I'm sorry a lot of these are AMVs and fan works, but I couldn't find anything else. All the songs should be the originals though, I can't tell, I have no sound >_<)

Advice

Carnival

Skeleton Liar

Hybrid Rainbow

White Ash

(Another post to follow)

Monday 17 November 2008

Why Maths is Cool- Music

The acceptance of the following fact may be impossible for some. This I can understand, it's not their fault. It's stupid people's fault, for slandering maths and trying to make it ugly. But this isn't about stupid people. This is about music. And how it's maths.

For this next bit, I'm going to have to borrow the infinite intellect of the late Douglas Adams, the genius behind Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy.
Imagine a ball being thrown at you. Assuming you're prepared and fit, you can easily catch that ball. But think about it.
That ball is traveling at a good speed, and is making an arc. And arc your mind has to calculate in order to get your hand where it should be. Now, although your average athlete could have trouble audibly dividing a couple of three digit numbers, they are able to (subconsciously) predict and define the movement and target of an object at high speeds in a matter of seconds. People call it instinct, and leave it at that. But this is high level mathematical thinking. This is nature. This is what we are. Maths is our organic, nonpolluting petrol that doesn't cost a pound a litre.

What is music? Audible art. What is art? A reflection of nature (Be it in the literal, physical or meta-physical sense) that appeals to our senses. And the thing that we conceive in nature is maths. (I'll touch upon this another time)

What do we look for in music? Sequence, dynamics patterns. All of which can be expressed with numbers. Exponentials, Pythagoras, ratios- they're all in musical theory. Hell, an obvious example (yet crude in my opinion) would be the construction of violins to the Golden Ratio. Better yet would be the exponential rates of the harmonic identities and octaves, or the ratios in tuning.

Now this is where it goes to interpretation. The Blue Pill/Red Pill Moment.

Blue Pill: Continue to believe that music, nature and all art are "Free" and "Spiritual", and that maths is "Unnatural" and "Ugly", and comparison of the two media lessens and insults all art.

Red Pill: Realise the beauty in such intricacies and patterns that stems from the mathematical qualities of music, which therefore creates our understanding of music.

Take it as you will.

Sunday 16 November 2008

Stop using the word "random". No, stop it. Please.

This is going to be petty, this is going to be a little over-reactive. Hell, I might as well go the full however-many yards, and say this is just an example of my anal-retentiveness. Ned bless Freud and his whackiness.
But back to the topic at hand.

Imagine a terrible personal profile. Female, uses that weird font, compensates for bad spelling mistakes by adding extra "y"s.

Theyy call hur : Sarahh

Luks Thruu: Green Eyyes


...And so on, until...

She is: 100% random!

Bam. You might as well have been Miss Lapin trying to tell me you make something a percentage by multiplying by 100 (I have a problem with percentages at the moment, huh?).

You are not random.

Not the fictional girl I made up, not that "crazy gurl" (another pet peeve), not you.

Are you consistently variable? Are you deduced through Brownian Motion? Is there only one machine in the world powerful enough to run intense algorithms that can just about create a string of you, if you're not too fussy about the source of your random figures?

I'm being pedantic. I know. But let's look at it with a little more context. Let's say you were random, in a more conventional sense. That'd make you a completely different person every second. There'd be no coherency, no context, no connection. You'd be, as a person, nothing.

The person we are is not about what we are, it's the growth. It's why we're endeared to the hero who starts as the runt, and grows. That's character development. "A journey of a Thousand Miles...." and all that.

The things that make you you is an incredibly large (or small if you're particularly dull) set of responses. Let's get that cliche out of the way; that's what makes you, you. There is, granted, levels of variability in people's reactions, but nonetheless, you're programmed.Or rather, programming. Everyone grows, that's something you should remember. To an extent, our growth as a person might possibly may be concieved as a random variable, but the point remains.
You're not random. And that's fantastic.

(I'd just like to add as a side note, two things.
1. I don't want to hear anything about how calling people "Programmed" takes away the magic and spirituality of the human soul, and whatnot. Anyone who can't see that as beauty is, in my opinion, close-minded. They're usually the same kind of people who thinks maths is ugly, and can't see that high art forms such as music are merely beautiful applications of maths. God my boner for numbers isn't even funny.

2., does anyone ever feel that there needs to be a form of 3d writing? From the line that ended ".... you're programmed", I wanted to write three different paragraphs. Although, 2d writing could work just as well, it'd just be a bit cluttered. Damn linear medium.

Saturday 15 November 2008

Oh My God I'm 12 minutes away from already failing the blog-scedule

Holy crap, it's 12 to 12, and I've been procrastinating this all day. Huge coincidence that this blog is about my week, because my week has been about slacking.
Seriously, I wonder if I'm a self-saboteur when it comes to responsibility. I seem to have a complete problem with doing things right.
Any school morning for instance. I turn on the PC at half seven, knowing it will amke me late for school. "But hey", that persuasive creature on my left shoulder whispers, "You have some self discipline, right? You could maybe just check your blogs, read your web comics, and leave, right?".
An hour later, half-aware that school is starting without me, I sit dumbly at my PC, under the tyrannical imprisonment of the StumbleUpon tool bar. It is both a blessing and a curse.
5 minutes till Sunday. Crap.
It's affecting my work. I've given up my fresh air to do coursework I could've done long ago, had I actually sat down and done it. I'm being chased up by 5 subjects at time of speaking. That's practically all my coursework-hungry ones.
I really wonder if I can actually do well in the future. Not worry, because I lack the sense to worry- but wonder nonetheless. I'm a great person for on the spot bull-shitting. Tests are great, I can just sit them unprepared. But things I actually have to work at? Willingly? When there's a copy of Final Fantasy X to finish? I scoff in the face of hard work.
Maybe a minute left.
Some say it's a gift. me? I reckon it's a really versatile disability, like having a shoulder that dislocates really easily. Maybe I have a brain that dislocates really easily. It'd explain a lot.

I'll stop while it's still Saturday.

[Edit:
So it turns out that it's time-stamped from the moment you start writing, rather than when you stop, I was in the clear all along.
Even ignoring the fact that this is American, and set at roughly 8 hours before midnight.
Fuck you, blogging software and timezones, with your numerous conspiracies.
Point stands, I made the post. Last minute, as all my work is. Rushed, too. Shaun Standard.

Friday 14 November 2008

Advice; Download StumbleUpon

StumbleUpon is with doubt the greatest web-tool I've ever used.
By putting in your interests, you can hit a button and find a random web page that will match your interests, with an archive of- well, the whole internet.
I click the button. I'm struck with this powerful page on how Islamic girls are real girls. Bookmark it. Click again. A page on final meal requests on Death Row. Bookmark. Stumble again. The most hilarious mixture of Nietzsche's social commentary mixed with Newspaper comics.. Bookmark. Stumble. Ad Infinitum.
Right kids, for this one you're gonna wanna download Mozilla Firefox, which is a safer, faster and better internet browser. I'll tell you why you need it some other time.
Now, if you've followed my advice, proceed to download StumbleUpon. You can work out the rest.

Just so you can get a feel of how diverse it is, my current interests are;

American Lit.
Anime
Atheist/Agnostic
Beauty
Bizarre/Oddities
British Literature
Buddhism
Chaos/Complexity
Cyberculture
Ethics
Evolution
Firefox
Futurism
Genetics
Ipod
Japan
Literature
Logic
Mathematics
Neuroscience
Online Games
Philosophy
Photography
Poetry
Psychology
Self Improvement
Shakespeare
Shareware
Sociology
Soundtracks
Video Games

Yeah- It's that awesome.

This is a Blog. Also, Rules.

( I apologise for the slightly melancholy tone, it's late and this post needs to be cereal.)

I've been told before that I'm not a deep person. I'm not going to lie; I was insulted. I'm not going to be modest; I reckoned they were dead wrong. Somewhere along the long history of words becoming dissected and disassociated from their original meaning, "Deep" has somehow come to mean that someone simply spills out everything that is wrong with their life, without a seconds hesitation. I've stated before, this is a blog of honesty. It's set in stone (inter web-stone?). My problem is, however, is I have no problems. No issues. Nothing really genuinely upsets me. I have a distinct lack of qualms. Does this make me shallow? Unformed? Is an experience not enough to shape one's ego, if it is not unhappy?
∴ Blog.
I've decided to rear a blog of my own, if not as a testament to the naysayers to my depth as a person, then one unto myself. It of course will fill other needs- I'll make it daily, in order to encourage schedule and discipline. It'll be my One-To-Many communication tool. And maybe years from now, I can look at this blog, and marvel at what an over-wordy idiot I was.

I don't want this to be the same post every day. Therefore, I'll make a schedule of posts.
Monday: Reason number n "Why Math is Cool.".
Tuesday: I want to talk about a piece of media.
Wednesday: Ponderings, wonderings and thoughts.
Thursday: Things from the internet.
Friday: General advice for the public.
Saturday: I suppose one day should be a record of my life. What happened in the week.
Sunday: Ramble.

As it's a Friday, I'll follow up with an advice post.