[Wander/Wonder]

I'm not applying myself into anything else right now, so let's make a blug post!
[Insert generic rambling about how I don't know what to write, I guess I'll just type whatever, cos I'm so random LOL]

I would say I'm pretty dedicated to efficiency actually. The only reason Im doing this now is because I don't want to waste time right now. I always want to make sure I'm doing something. If I'm doing nothing, I need to make sure I'm doing it purposefully.
I won't wrestle with the typical stereotypes of how guys can't multi-task, excepting that I do it all the time. I also try to make a point of absorbing all I can at anyone time- watching tv + listening to podcast + reading newspaper. It feels like a drug, honestly, such raw information.
Do you ever walk down the middle of curved roads, in the way of traffic, just to make the shortest path? Or failing that, convince everyone to cross the road everytime the inside curve switches sides?
I was talking with friends a while ago, and we realised how OCD we all were. Or at least what society deems to be OCD without really paying much attention. But we all had little things. There were people who had to walk on the right hand side of people, the people who needed their stationary perpendicular, all these wonderful beautiful quirks. Personally, I needed to turn light switches on/off/on once entering a room, and off/on/off when leaving, I had to pop the diet tabs on all drinks and flick the ring-pulls off of cans and I have to walk in knight steps. Knight like the chess-piece.. These were the tamer ones.
I've noticed myself getting a lot more extrovertive in recent times. More expressive. Louder. Making silly gestures, saying silly things, losing a little restraint. I'm not sure whether I want to leave this be (Maybe it's a development of character? Coming out of my shell) or put a bung in it, lest I cause significant annoyance to all around me. It's interesting to witness though. I wonder why it's happening.

Didn't see myself here a few months ago.

This blog is going to sound incredibly insensitive.
And it's posting is probably going to bring about some incredibly bad luck.

But I'm the only one I know in a relationship.
*Touch Wood*

When it started, 4 months and a day from today, there were several relationships ongoing simultaneously. Honestly, it kinda felt like we were all smushed together, one big block of happy and awesome.

But then it chipped and cracked, and as the marble fell, it just seems like we've been left standing above the rest.
*touch wood*

And as much of a braggart I feel saying it, it feels kind of good.
"Romantic screw-up doesn't really screw up for 4 months and a day"
...
Well, I suppose there is a reason I don't write for a newspaper.

I won't beat around the bush, I'm incredibly ecstatic and proud that I've found a girl who has given me previously unfelt happiness, whilst being patient enough to stick around and ignore my errs, but i feel a little guilty that no one (Save maybe Tabby) is sharing this immense joy.
But then again, that little stab of guilt is thoroughly masturbatory, and I feel pretty good about feeling bad.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm getting really worried by my inability to properly prioritise. During the holidays, where I'm supposed to be completing Math practice papers, English AS and IT GCSE, I've done none, in favour of trivial activities. My order of preference?
1) Sleeping
2) Intensive washing
3) Gaming
4) Drinking (fluids, not alcohol)
5) Leaving my house
6) Eating
7) Work

...This is mildly unhealthy, to say the least. I can't do any work on friday, because I'm meeting my thoroughly interesting German Jewish Great Aunt who escaped Nazi Germany, and my parents will be suspicious during the weekend. Thus, tomorrow i'm working my ass off.
If I can even get out of bed.
Or stop washing.
Or put down my DS
Etc.

Of Shininess and Sweater-Vests

Maybe it's the change of season, and all that Sun getting to my head. Maybe it's the sudden lack of school.

But everything's so shiny right now. Everything is great.

I look around, and the sights are beautiful. I keep stumbling on music that gives me shivers.
I'm even enjoying people's company more than usual. I have been laughing in a way that I haven't laughed in quite a while.

I'm at that point of ecstasy that I'm unable to stop myself singing down confused cul-de-sacs.
And I'll be damned if I don't savour it.
The other day, I actually took a walk. So I could preserve that moment of happiness. So I could take in the surrounding beauty.
Just read those sentences again. I'm happy.

I think it has something to do with this feeling of self-actualisation I've been having. Recently, I've just been feeling closer to that person I strive to be.
I'm not there yet. But the other day, I wore a sweater-vest.
Casually.
That's something I've longed to do for maybe a year or two. And it felt great.
Sure, it sounds stupid, and it's essentially equivalent to an ego-less girl finally trying on thsoe daring red heels she bought but was assured by confidants that she just couldn't pull off.
But I don't care. Cause I can wear a sweater-vest.
I've grown.